


A Shadow

by SpoonyLupin



Series: A Shadow [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cheesy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Gen, Male Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8024836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoonyLupin/pseuds/SpoonyLupin
Summary: Harry is about to start his fifth year, but Sirius has only now escaped from Azkaban. When Harry runs out on his aunt and uncle, he is attacked by Voldemort and the Death Eaters, and Sirius comes to his rescue - the godfather that Harry doesn’t even know about, and the man that he only knows as a "murderer".





	A Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
> 
> Author’s note: I’m not even sure where this story came from. It just was like so many of my stories before. This is very obviously AU, and I took canon events completely out of order - this takes place just before Harry’s fifth year, and Harry’s just blown up Aunt Marge. The rest of the events of Prisoner of Azkaban haven’t happened, so Harry doesn’t know about Sirius yet, just that he’s the “murderer” he saw on television.

He was like a shadow. He came into my life just as quickly and as silently as he left it. But quite unlike a shadow, the impact he left on my life and my heart was permanent. The very first time I saw him, he was a shadow then. Nothing more than two eyes in the black of night. And little did I know, he would become so much more than that. To me, anyway.

I knew I wasn’t supposed to be leaving the Dursleys. Dumbledore was going to be furious when he found out, not to mention Voldemort and the other Death Eaters were out there looking for me. I was supposed to stay at the Dursleys’ where I was “safe”, at least until I was told otherwise, but I didn’t care.

I was shaking so badly, I could barely hold onto my trunk or my wand. If I had stayed with my aunt and uncle even a moment longer, I think I really might have lost it. Aunt Marge’s words were still swirling around in my head, and every time I thought about them, I wanted to blow her up all over again. I didn’t even care that I was probably going to be expelled. I just…didn’t care.

However, I did care about the fact that I had nowhere to go. I had already sent Hedwig to stay with Ron, because I was afraid of her possibly disturbing Aunt Marge during her visit. Without my owl, I had no way to get in contact with anyone. I looked down at the wand in my hand, various spells running through my head. I was already certain I was going to be expelled, so a little more magic wouldn’t hurt, but I wasn’t even sure where to begin to go about contacting someone. Even if I did know a way, my mind was too full of anger and confusion to think clearly.

Sighing heavily, I spotted a low wall a short distance away on Magnolia Crescent. I dragged my trunk the rest of the way and, finally realizing how out of breath I was, dropped down onto the edge of the wall. I took a few moments to catch my breath, but I was still shaking uncontrollably.

I started to think about how everyone would react when they found out what I had done - not only blowing up Aunt Marge, but making it worse by running away and endangering myself in the process. They wouldn’t understand my reasons for doing so; they’d be far too concerned with my safety, and that made me even angrier. Not with the fact that they cared so much about me - I was thankful for that, don’t get me wrong - but sometimes, I just wanted someone who would understand and sympathize with me. Someone who loved me the way that family was supposed to. I had Dumbledore, and the Weasleys, and Hermione, but it just wasn’t the same. I wanted someone who would _get_ me. Someone who would accept the moronic things I did rather than admonish me for them.

Believe me, I knew I had done a stupid thing, and for the first time, it really started to sink in. I was afraid. Afraid about where I was going to go, and fear about what would happen if someone undesirable found me first - Voldemort, the Death Eaters, or maybe even that murderer I had seen on the Muggle news.

My Nimbus 2000 was safely in my trunk. I vaguely wondered about using it to fly to London, but then all thoughts seemed to leave my mind. A horrible and uncomfortable feeling settled over me, almost like I was being watched. My skin prickled and I shivered, even though the summer air was warm and humid. Swallowing hard, I looked up and down the street. Nothing moved and nothing made a sound, which made me feel even more uneasy.

Then I heard - or maybe felt - something behind me. I turned my head quickly, my eyes passing over the small gap in between the garage and fence behind me. Nothing moved, but I desperately hoped that it was a stray cat or something.

I fumbled with my wand, my hand shaking anew. “ _Lumos_ ,” I muttered, momentarily squinting my eyes against the light that poured from the tip. I held my wand up, aiming it toward the alleyway behind me. I quickly thought of some other spells that I could use if need be, but when I saw what it was, I froze. It seemed like every thought in my head had even turned to a useless block of ice.

I couldn’t quite make out the shape - it was black, hidden in the shadows - but whatever was in the alleyway was _large_. The only part of the hulking shape I could clearly make out were the two large eyes, glowing at me in the darkness.

Just then, a very loud bang resounded from somewhere further down the street. I yelped in surprise and in my haste to turn toward the sound, I only succeeded in tumbling down off the wall. My hip connected sharply with the cement next to my trunk and I groaned. Briefly forgetting about the creature and the sound, I reached back with my free hand to gingerly rub at my throbbing hip.

Then more bangs came from down the street to my right, and my precarious situation came flooding back to me. As quickly as I could, I got to my feet, holding out my wand in front of me. At first, I didn’t see anything, but I heard them. There was no mistaking that high and cold laugh now echoing towards me among the rows of dark houses.

I swore under my breath, stumbling over my feet and my trunk in my haste to get away. Once my feet were securely under me, I ran back the way I had come - away from whatever was skulking in the alley, and away from Voldemort. I suddenly didn’t care about Aunt Marge or the things she had said; I only wanted to get back to the house that Dumbledore always told me was safe.

Spells began flying around me, and I tried to dodge them without any idea where they were even coming from. There were many more people than just Voldemort after me, of that I was certain. I could hear them - loud and mocking as they pursued me - and just trying to count the spells I could see out of the corner of my eyes, I knew there were a lot of them.

I knew I wasn’t going to make it. There was no way I was going to get all the way back to number four, Privet Drive safely. It was much too far and there were too many of them following me. But I ran faster yet, determined not to go down without a fight. I thought about firing some spells at my pursuers, but figured it would only slow me down, so I just kept running, my feet pounding against the pavement as I went.

I gulped for air, my chest burning with the effort as I turned a corner and kept on going. And that was when it hit me. At first, I thought it was one of the Death Eaters or else one of their spells - _Avada Kedavra_ , perhaps - because that was what it felt like. I was tackled to the ground, the air being completely forced from lungs. I landed on my back, gasping desperately for air.

Whatever was on me was big and black, and I still thought it was a Death Eater. Then I saw its eyes. The same large and glowing eyes that been watching me from the alleyway not long before. I realized it was a dog, but then again, I wasn’t completely sure; it was simply gigantic. My own eyes widened and I yelped, trying to aim my wand at it, but the creature had my arms pinned at my sides. I opened my mouth and screamed, not sure what else to do. The creature had me, and pretty soon, the Death Eaters would have me as well.

But then the large form above me changed. It wasn’t a dog any longer, but a man. A man with long, straggly black hair and a pale, gaunt face. It was the murderer that I had seen on the news just that very morning! I gasped again, prepared to start screaming once more, but then the man placed a hand over my mouth. My eyes widened more, and I began to struggle against him.

“I’m here to help,” the man whispered in a rough voice, one that sounded like it hadn‘t been used in a while. He looked up quickly at the Death Eaters that were closing in, then back at me. He wrapped an arm around me, and I kept trying to push him off, but to no avail; he was much larger and stronger than I was. All of a sudden, it seemed like the world around me had disappeared, changing into something that was much too narrow and tight.

_He’s Apparating with me_ , I realized, feeling panic rising up inside me. He could have taken me anywhere, could have done anything with me, and my heart pounded in fear. I began to wonder if I might have stood a better chance with the Death Eaters after all.

When the world reformed again, I immediately scrambled out from underneath him, grabbing at the ground with my trembling hands. I was surprised that he had let me get away at all, and I braced myself for him to pounce again, but he didn’t. He simply got to his own feet and stood watching me.

I continued pushing myself backwards until I hit something. When I looked around, I realized it was a wall of stone; we were in a cave of some sort. It was damp and chilly, but at least the Death Eaters were nowhere to be found. Then again, that man kept watching me and I wasn’t sure that that was much better. I spotted my wand lying just a foot away from me on the dirt floor. Relief flooded through me and I grabbed it, stumbling to my own feet and aiming my wand at the man. I still wasn’t quite sure why he had let me.

A long silence stretched out between us, and my mind raced with possible things to say. I thought about telling him to leave me alone, to get out of the way, but I was certain he would only laugh at me. He didn’t have any wand that I saw, but he was still much larger than me, and he had been a large, hulking dog only mere minutes before. He was also conveniently standing between me and mouth of the cave.

“Harry…” the man finally broke the silence. He didn’t say anything more, although it almost looked like he was going to.

I wasn’t sure how he knew my name. Then again, I supposed there was barely a wizard alive in the world that didn’t. “Just let me go.” I was prepared for him to laugh at me, but he was silent.

After a moment, he said, “I’m not going to kill you, you know. I would have done it already.” He motioned down at himself. “And look - you’re armed, I’m not.”

I shook my head, partly out of confusion and partly out of disbelief. I raised my wand higher.

“Just listen to me for a moment,” the man pleaded.

“Why should I?” I demanded. “I saw you on the Muggle news. You’re an escaped murderer. A pretty bad one, I’d wager to guess, for getting on the Muggle news.”

The man simply shook his head, shutting his eyes tightly. “I’m not. I’ve never killed anyone in my life.” He looked up at the ceiling of the cave briefly, inhaling heavily. “Not on purpose, anyway.”

“’Not on purpose’?” I scoffed. “You either kill someone or you don’t. So which is it?”

The man’s sunken eyes flashed for a moment, some long forgotten emotion passing over them, but then it was gone. “I didn’t.”

“Right,” I muttered sarcastically. “Look, you saved me from the Death Eaters - although I’m not sure why - so thanks for that, I guess, so…could you just let me go now? If you don’t want to kill me…”

“I told you,” he interrupted, pushing a strand of matted hair back from his face, “I want you to listen to me for a moment.”

“And I asked why.”

The man blinked in confusion, as if he had forgotten what I had said thirty short seconds ago. He shook his head again and said, “It’s important. It’s very important.”

I contained the urge to snort, and I had to keep reminding myself that this man was a murderer. He didn’t seem like it, but then again, things weren’t always what they seemed. “I can’t imagine what it could possibly have to do with me.”

“A lot. Everything.” The man looked me up and down, the ghost of a smile appearing on his pale lips. “My name is Sirius Black.” When I didn’t react, he said, “I’m guessing you’ve never heard of me.”

“No, I haven’t. ‘Cept on the news.”

Sirius nodded. I thought I caught the smallest look of disappointment in his eyes, but then it was gone. “I know you, Harry,” he said. “Or I did. When you were a baby. I haven’t seen you in-” the man looked confused again “-going on fourteen years, I think, but…I recognized you immediately. Not because you‘re the savior of the wizarding world. I recognized you because…you look exactly like James.”

I gasped again, pressing myself back into the wall of the cave as hard as I could, almost wishing I could disappear through it. “What do you know about my dad?” I demanded, waving my wand at him again.

“I’m sure you won’t believe me…”

“I already don’t!”

The man took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and looked at me determinedly. “Your dad was my best friend. We went to Hogwarts together.”

I frowned deeply. Was this some kind of a trick or a joke? Was this man possibly trying to fool me into trusting him? I barely knew anything at all about my parents or who their friends were - I had no way of knowing whether he was lying or not. I stared at him in confusion, silently praying that everything would suddenly make sense to me.

“I was James’s best man when he married your mum,” Sirius said. He paused then for a very long time, as if battling with himself on whether or not to say anything further. When I still didn’t reply, he added, “They made me your godfather.”

I suddenly had the urge to cry, and I wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was because I had _never_ known anyone that had known my parents in that way. I had never known anyone that could tell me that much about them - and it seemed like this man could answer all the questions I had ever had. _If_ he was telling the truth, and I wasn’t sure he was.

I shook my head defiantly. “If I had a godfather, someone would have _told_ me. Dumbledore or someone.”

Sirius grabbed at the sides of his faded prison robes, giving them a small shake. “I’d wager to guess they didn’t tell you, because I’m not exactly godfather material.”

At first, I didn’t know what to say. I kept opening and closing my mouth, but nothing would come out. None of this made any sense. Finally, I shook my head and demanded, “What were you in prison for then? Murder, I know, but if you insist you’re innocent…”

“I was framed,” the man said immediately. “ _Everyone_ thinks I’m guilty, but it’s not true.”

“Who did you-” I cut myself off. I had been about to ask him who he killed. While I still didn’t quite believe him, I didn’t think it was prudent to phrase the question that way. “Who do they _think_ you killed?”

“Thirteen people.”

“ _Thirteen_?!”

“It disgusts me, too, if it makes you feel any better.”

That didn’t strike me as something a real murderer would say. Could it be that he was possibly telling me the truth? That he had been arrested for something he truly didn’t do? But I still had to keep in mind that this man was a stranger to me; he could have been lying about everything and I wouldn’t know the difference. I needed more proof, I decided. Not that he had offered me anything concrete yet. “Who framed you?” I asked.

Sirius’s face morphed into a grimace. “That’s…where the story gets complicated, I’m afraid.”

“It’s _been_ complicated - finding out I have a godfather that I never even knew about.”

For a moment, Sirius looked surprised. Almost like he couldn’t believe that I had addressed him as my godfather. He sighed heavily, and it sounded like he had been holding his breath. When he went on, his voice was gentler than it had been. “Well…this part of the story is _really_ involved.” He motioned to the floor the cave. “Maybe you should sit down.”

My eyes darted to the ground and then quickly back to Sirius. I still wasn’t entirely sure about him, so I inched away, putting some distance between us before I sat down. I kept my wand raised and pointed at him just in case.

Sirius sat down just a short distance away, facing me. He looked at my wand and said, “I’m _not_ going to hurt you. As I’ve said, I would have done it already.”

“Well,” I said, giving my wand a small shake, “I’d rather keep it here just in case.”

“Fair enough,” Sirius murmured. “I wouldn’t trust me either. Especially not looking like this.” I couldn’t quite tell if his comment was meant to be funny or serious, but before I had time to think about it any further, he continued. “Before I start, I just want you to know that I’d never hurt you _or_ your parents.”

I dug my feet into the dirt and pushed myself back a little more into the wall of the cave. Tightening my hold on my wand, I asked, “What does this have to do with my parents?”

Sirius closed his eyes and I could hear him swallowing. “I’ll get to that. But…try and remember that. Some of the things I’m going to tell you will be upsetting, but I never wanted for things to end up like this.”

I had no idea where he was going with this, but I motioned for him to continue. I was not, however, expecting what came next.

“How much do you know about the night your parents died?”

“I…” I was so confused, I didn’t even know how to respond to that. My head was swimming in uncertainty, and I even had a hard time remembering the words. “Not much,” I said, shaking my head. I wasn’t even sure why I was answering him. “Just that Voldemort killed them, and he tried to kill me too, but…couldn’t.” Unable to hold Sirius’s gaze any longer, I looked at the floor of the cave as if the dirt there might hold the answers I was looking for.

“I figured as much,” Sirius sighed. After a very long pause, he said, “They knew Voldemort was after them, and Dumbledore suggested they go into hiding.”

“I still don’t see what this has to do with you.”

“You will. Have you ever heard of the Fidelius Charm?”

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “We learned about that. That’s when a secret is concealed inside a person, right? The Secret-Keeper?”

Sirius nodded.

Something seemed to click inside me and my eyes widened. I tensed, ready to spring to my feet again if need be. “Wait! You weren’t Secret-Keeper for my parents, were you?!”

“No!” Sirius cried. “No, I wasn’t. If I was, they would still be alive. And I should have been!”

My heart was beating wildly now at everything he was saying, at everything I hadn’t known before. “If not you, then who?”

“His name was Peter Pettigrew,” Sirius said, his voice dripping with hate. “He was another one of our _friends_. Ever hear of him?”

I shook my head, watching Sirius closely. He was shaking visibly, and it was the first time that I began to think that he just may be telling me the truth.

“Your dad wanted me to be their Secret-Keeper,” Sirius went on, his voice once again slipping back into that unused tone that I had first heard. “He was my best friend, he trusted me above all others. And I agreed to it. At first.” He trailed off, his eyes deflecting to some random spot on the cave wall. Closing them, he pressed his lips together, and it almost looked like he was praying for something. “Then I got scared.” He laughed harshly. “I was in Gryffindor, and I got scared!”

“I’m in Gryffindor, too,” I whispered. I couldn’t explain it, but it made me feel oddly close to him - like maybe we weren’t as different as I had first thought. “Braveness is supposed to be one of our traits, but we are allowed to be afraid sometimes, too.”

The very corner of his lips twitched into a half-smile. “I know. I told James that we should ask Peter to be Secret-Keeper instead. He was hesitant at first, but then he agreed. We thought it was the perfect ploy. Peter was rather…wimpy and untalented. Who in their right mind would choose him?” Sirius laughed again, sounded almost disbelieving. “We let everyone think that it was still going to be me in order to throw them off. But it didn’t work like we thought.”

“Peter…did he tell Voldemort?” It was a struggle to get the words out. My throat was dry all of a sudden.

Sirius nodded solemnly. “We had no idea at the time, but he had been a spy for Voldemort for some time. Probably since we were at school together.”

My head suddenly felt overloaded with information. I rubbed at my forehead, trying to ease the sensation. “Well…how did you end up getting arrested? Did…he do all of that, too? Murder all those people?”

“Yes,” Sirius sighed. “After…after your parents died, I realized what Peter did. That he had…turned them over to Voldemort.” His bottom lip quivered, and he drew a heavy breath. “I decided to go after him.”

“To _kill_ him?”

“James was my best friend, Harry,” Sirius explained. “I would have done anything for him. Even kill Peter if I thought he deserved it. I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly at the time. I was overwhelmed with everything - my grief and anger at myself for trusting Peter to begin with.”

“Did you do what you thought was best at time?” I asked quietly.

“Yes. At the time, I did.”

“Then it’s hardly your fault.”

Sirius shook his head firmly. I could tell he didn’t believe me, but before I could say anything more, he continued with his story. “I tracked Peter down the next day. Before I could even do anything, he started shouting for the entire street to hear about how _I_ had killed James and Lily. About how it was all _my_ fault. I just…snapped. Before I even knew what I was doing, I pulled out my wand. The Death Curse started to form on my lips, but before I could get it out…I guess he had his wand behind his back, because he blew everything up - part of the street and I think a water pipe burst. Along with twelve Muggles who were nearby.”

“And he accused you?!” I was angry. Angry that _anyone_ could be such a _coward_ to let someone else take the fall for them.

“Not exactly,” Sirius replied. “He was an Animagus, just like me. In the confusion, he cut off his own finger to make it look like I killed him, too. Then he transformed into a rat - and I never realized how perfect that form was for him before - and ran into the sewer. I never saw him again, and when the authorities showed up…his entire plan worked perfectly. Everyone thought I did it, and I was arrested and sentenced to life in prison without a trial.”

“They didn’t even give you a trial?!” I could almost understand Sirius’s need to go out and kill Pettigrew, because I suddenly felt the urge to do the exact same thing.

Sirius shrugged. “They thought it was an open and shut case. So did the entire wizarding world, which is exactly why no one ever told you about me. They didn’t think it would help you any to know that the last guardian you had turned your parents over to Voldemort.”

I blinked in surprised. “My guardian?”

Sirius bit at his bottom lip like he hadn’t intended to reveal that particular piece of information. “Yes,” he finally said. “Your parents wanted me to…be your guardian if anything ever happened to them. But I never got the chance to fulfill that role.”

I was speechless for a very long time. My heart almost felt like it was aching. I didn’t know this man, but just in the time I had been talking to him, he seemed a million times better than my aunt and uncle. Things didn’t have to be this way after all! Things could have been different! “Well…why’d you have to go and get yourself arrested?” I demanded. “Merlin, I’ve been living with my psychotic aunt and uncle, and all this time, I could have been living with you instead.”

“What?” Sirius sounded confused.

“Sirius,” I explained, “my aunt and uncle are _horrible_ people. They’re Muggles and they think I’m a freak because I can do magic. What do you think I was wandering around in the middle of the night for?”

“I…I didn’t know,” Sirius whispered. “I didn’t have time to think about it, really. I was just excited to see you, and then Voldemort showed up…It just all happened so fast. But…you’d want to live with me?”

“Sure,” I said simply.

“You really believe me? Believe everything I said?”

That question caught me a little off guard. I hadn’t really thought about that specific question; I had been too involved in the story up until that point. “I guess I do,” I said, sounding a little breathless. “Why would anyone make up something that crazy?” I laughed. “You saved my life and we’ve been talking for almost an hour…I think you would have put me out of my misery already if that’s what you were after, rather than making up something so mental. Besides, I’ve met more Death Eaters than I care to think about, and you’re not like any of them.”

“I’m not a Death Eater, Harry,” Sirius reiterated. “I’d rather die than be one of them, and I would have rather died than let _anything_ happen to you or your parents. I never would have trusted that ruddy Wormtail if I had known how it was going to turn out.”

“Wait - who?”

“Wormtail, that’s what we called Peter - your dad and I,” Sirius clarified. “’Cause he was a rat, and he had a tail that looked like a worm.” Sirius snorted. “Rather unoriginal, I know.”

“Wormtail,” I repeated, and then it seemed like everything clicked into place. Everything suddenly made sense. “I saw him, I met him!” I cried.

“Where?” Sirius asked, looking alarmed.

“This past May,” I said. “When Voldemort came back. You know about that, don’t you?”

Sirius’s eyes darkened as he nodded.

“He was there, he did it all!” I went on frantically. “Voldemort was too weak to do anything - he was this…helpless little thing - and…Wormtail did it all. He killed Cedric and he made this potion that gave Voldemort a body again…” I gasped for air, my breath shaking and my eyes stinging with tears. “I kept wondering why Voldemort called him _Wormtail_ of all things.”

“No one else knows he’s alive,” Sirius said. “He can’t use his real name.”

“He was missing a finger!” I exclaimed. “He had to sacrifice the rest of his hand to bring back Voldemort and I saw it very clearly-”

“His right index finger was missing,” Sirius interrupted, providing the last bit of information to push away any remaining doubts in my mind.

“Oh, Sirius…” I breathed. “You really are telling me the truth.”

Sirius smirked. “I thought you already decided that.”

“I did, but…” A tear spilled out of my left eye and rolled down my cheek. I swiped it away. “Well, I _thought_ you were telling me the truth, but now…I know.”

Sirius breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Which is what I wanted. I wish everyone knew the truth, but…at least you do now.”

“Why…?” I began, but then I stopped. There were still so many questions swirling around in my brain, and I wasn’t sure what to ask first. I shook my head to try and clear it. “What are you doing here? You broke out of prison just to tell me that? Now, after all these years?”

“Not exactly.” Sirius reached into the pocket of his robes, withdrawing several torn and tattered newspaper clippings. “This is why I’m here.”

He held the clippings out for me and I took them. The one on top had a picture of me from last year with the headline ‘ _Harry Potter becomes the youngest champion to ever compete in the Triwizard Tournament!_ ’ The next couple were all about the tasks, and there was even one about my “relationship” with Hermione. I grimaced. “These are all a bunch of crap, just so you know.”

“You weren’t in the tournament?”

“Oh, I was,” I answered, “but I _didn’t_ put my name in the cup, nor am I going out with…her.” I held up the clipping that showed a picture of me and Hermione. “She’s just a friend.”

“I was worried about you,” Sirius said. “All those articles talking about you risking your life - they were the first time I’d heard anything at all about you since I’d been in prison. Any time a visitor came to the prison, I’d beg them to bring me a paper - I told them I liked to do the crosswords. It was the only way I could…be a part of your life. And then I saw the last one.”

I flipped through the rest of the Triwizard articles until I got to the final clipping. This one announced, ‘ _He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Returns!_ ’

“I knew he’d be coming after you again,” Sirius told me. “That was…the last straw, I guess. I couldn’t keep sitting in a prison cell knowing that my godson was in that much danger.”

My fingers tightened around the papers, and a large tear dripped from eye right onto the word ‘ _He_ ’. The drop spread out, soaking into the page, and I stared at it, unable to look at…my godfather.

“Harry?” Sirius asked, sounding concerned.

I sniffled, wiping my sleeve across my eyes. “All this time, I _did_ have someone.”

“What do you mean?”

I looked up then, into my godfather’s bright blue eyes. “I have a family, a real family,” I said, smiling despite my tears. “I knew my parents wouldn’t have wanted me to live with my aunt and uncle. They hate me, and I knew there had to be someone else - a grandparent, a different aunt or uncle, _someone_. You have no idea how often I prayed and hoped that…there was someone like you out there that I just didn’t know about it.”

Sirius frowned deeply. He looked frustrated. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“What on earth for?”

“That I went chasing after Peter,” Sirius said solemnly. “I should have thought things through better. I should have been thinking about _you_ , not about getting revenge on Peter. I should have been more concerned with what was going to happen to _you_. Instead, I got myself arrested and you ended up with your ruddy aunt and uncle.” He stopped and looked down at his hands, which were loosely folded in his lap. “And I’m sorry I even thought about letting Peter be Secret-Keeper. _I_ should have done it! You have no idea how many nights I’ve laid awake _wishing_ that I’d done _something_ different. Just one little thing!”

“Sirius,” I cut him off gently. “I told you, if you truly did what you thought was best…none of this is your fault. You didn’t know what Peter was planning, you didn’t know what would happen.”

Sirius still didn’t look very convinced, but he said, “I know. I just can’t help but feel guilty about the way things turned out. I wish things weren’t such a mess…you could come and live with me in a second…if you really wanted to,” he added hastily.

“Yeah, I want to!” I cried. “Could I come now? Do you have a house?”

Sirius gave me a look that was somewhere between astonishment and happiness. “Yeah…I have a house, but…” He shook his head. “You don’t want to live there.”

“Why not?” I pressed, my excitement growing. “Do you have a crazy family, too?”

For reasons I couldn’t understand, Sirius grinned just before he burst out into laughter. “As a matter of fact, I do. That’s another very long story, but my house is empty now, as far as I know.”

“Oh.” I was puzzled. “But then, why…?”

“Harry…” Sirius’s expression was pained. “Don’t get me wrong, I would _love_ to have you come and live with me - to be a proper family after all this time, but…I’m still a wanted man,” Sirius reminded me grimly. “I doubt very much that Dumbledore would allow it. My house is a mess anyway. I…”

I pushed myself up onto my knees, still determined to prove my point. “I don’t care! I’m kind of out of options - I _can’t_ go back to my aunt and uncle’s.”

“Why not? Other than the fact that they‘re a bunch of morons.”

“Well, er…that’s another very long story…”

“What did you do?”

“Well…” I repeated. I used the tip of my wand to prod at the dirt on the floor of the cave for a moment. “You see, er…I got mad,” I said sheepishly. “I kind of…blew up my aunt.” I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth, waiting for a lecture.

“You did _what_?” Sirius asked in shock. “Wait - blew up as in kablooey, she isn’t with us anymore?”

“No! Nothing like that,” I laughed nervously. “Blew up like a balloon. She sort of…inflated and was floating around the room the last I saw.”

Sirius stared at me for a very long time, his mouth hanging open. I was almost afraid that he was going to start yelling, but instead, he threw his head back and let out a bark-like laugh. “Please tell me you’re joking,” he pleaded in between snickers.

“Er, no…no, I’m not.”

Sirius began laughing so hard he fell backwards, lying on the floor of the cave while tears streamed from his eyes. I didn’t quite understand what was so funny. “Oh, Harry,” Sirius cried. He rubbed at his eyes and tried taking some deep breaths to calm himself. When he more or less had his laughing under control, he turned his head and looked at me. “Did anyone ever tell you how extraordinarily like your father you are?”

That was the very last reaction I had been expecting. He didn’t yell at me like Dumbledore would have. He didn’t even scold me like I probably should have been. He compared me to my _father_. I beamed, letting out a breathless chuckle. “No. Never. Just that I look like him.”

Sirius’s smile softened. “Yeah, you do. Except for your eyes. You have…”

“My mother’s eyes,” I finished for him.

“Yeah,” Sirius repeated, sounding a bit wistful. He coughed and ran his hand over his face. “So what on earth did your poor aunt do to deserve that kind of treatment?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” I said a little defensively. “It just…happened. I got mad. She was badmouthing my parents. And me.”

Sirius’s eyes flashed. “What?”

“Just a bunch of crap about how bratty and insolent I am, and it’s no wonder with the parents I had…”

Before I could finish, Sirius was on his feet, stalking toward the entrance to the cave.

“Sirius?” I called, but he didn’t stop. I hurriedly got to my feet and ran after him. “Sirius, w-where are you going?”

He finally stopped in the mouth of the cave and turned to face me. “I’m going to go find your aunt and set her right, just so I can blow her up all over again. _No one_ talks to my godson like that.” He turned on his heel and started walking out of the cave again.

“Sirius!” I exclaimed. I hurried after him, grabbing onto his sleeve just as he emerged from the cave. “You can’t!”

Sirius blinked at me, looking truly perplexed. “Why on earth not?”

“You can’t go there!” I tugged on his sleeve, slowly pulling him back into the shelter of the cave. “They saw you on the news, they’d turn you in in a second.”

“That is assuming I _gave_ them a chance to do anything.”

“No,” I said in a tone that left no room for arguments. I suddenly felt like _I_ was the adult, and Sirius was the child, and that thought made me smile. “Forget about it. They’re not worth it. I won‘t let you get arrested again because of them.”

Sirius seemed to battle with himself for several moments before he gave in. “Fine. I won’t go if you don’t want me to, but…if you ever do change your mind, just say the word, okay? I’ll blow them all up in a second.”

I snickered. “I appreciate the thought, but don’t worry about it.”

Sirius shrugged, but he kept giving me a look that suggested I was crazy. “Suit yourself, but what are you going to do now? If you can’t go back to your aunt and uncle’s…”

I looked down at my shoe, pressing my toe into the dirt. “I was thinking about going to London. Getting some money from my Gringotts vault, and…just seeing what happens.”

“What about school?”

“What about it? I can’t go back to Hogwarts now. I’ll be expelled.”

“What? Why would you be expelled?”

“Sirius, I blew up my aunt!” I yelled, waving my arms around. “That’s underage magic! We might even both be wanted after this!”

“Harry.” Sirius placed his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them slightly and waiting until I calmed down. “You said you didn’t do it on purpose - that you got mad and it happened by itself.”

“It did.”

“Then you’re not going to be expelled,” Sirius reassured me. “Not if it was an accident. And that’s _hardly_ punishable by jail time.”

“Oh. You‘re sure?”

Sirius nodded. “Yep, quite. They’ll send the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad to set things right. You may receive a warning, but that’s all. It’ll be fine, believe me.”

“Oh,” I repeated. I felt a bit silly for thinking I might be going to jail.

“Now the question still stands - what are you going to do now?”

“I…I don’t know,” I said. I hadn’t really given any thought to that; I had been so sure that I’d have to fend for myself now.

“Maybe,” Sirius suggested, “we should _both_ go to Dumbledore.”

“What, together? But…”

“Harry,” Sirius interrupted gently, “it really wasn’t the smartest idea for you to run off like this. I understand that you were mad at your aunt - and I don’t blame you one bit for blowing her up, because I’d like to do the exact thing myself - but Dumbledore will be worried about you. Especially if he finds out that you were almost attacked by Voldemort tonight. You’re going to make the poor man frantic.”

I said, “I know,” but I really didn’t. Dumbledore’s reaction to what had happened was the last thing on my mind at the moment.

Sirius took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, his hands still resting on my shoulders. “And I need to try and explain my story to Dumbledore. Hopefully, I can get him to believe me, too.”

I smiled. I felt oddly special that I was the first one who knew that Sirius was innocent. “I’ll make sure he does.”

Sirius suddenly wrapped his arms around me very tightly. It had been such a long time since anyone had shown me such affection, so I buried my nose in his robes. I didn’t even care that they were dirty and tattered. It just felt nice to be…loved for a change.

“You know what?” Sirius asked, pulling away from me. “I don’t care if Dumbledore doesn’t believe me. You do now, and that’s really all that matters.” He laughed gently. “I wasn’t even expecting all of this tonight. I just came to check on you to make sure you were all right before going to Dumbledore myself, but…then you were almost attacked and everything happened so fast…I didn’t think I’d be able to explain everything to you, and even if I did, I doubted you’d believe me…” He realized he was rambling and stopped himself. “Just…thank you. For listening to me. For giving me a moment to explain things. And thank you for believing me. You have no idea how good that feels.

I grinned. “And thank you for saving my life. Even though you almost killed me in the process.”

“What?”

“Sirius?” I looked up him with narrowed eyes. “You almost gave me a heart attack, skulking around in that alley in dog form. That thing is _huge_ and I thought you were some kind of monster for Merlin‘s sakes!”

Sirius laughed again - that doglike sound that I was beginning to enjoy. “Sorry about that. But shall we go? We can’t stay here all night.”

A part of me wanted exactly that - to stay there with Sirius forever. To get to know the godfather that I never even knew I had. To get to know my father’s best friend and finally learn a little bit about what my parents were like. To spend some time with the father figure I always wanted but didn’t think I’d have. It was strange; I’d only been talking to Sirius for a little over an hour, but it almost felt like I had known him for my entire life.

Sirius wrapped an arm around my shoulders, slowly leading me out of the cave. I leaned into him as we went, feeling much better than I had when I had first been brought to the cave. I felt like things would be okay, because for the first time, I was facing the world with a family. A family that had seemed to formed out of the shadows of my deepest dreams. And as I would soon learn, with the love of a family, you can do anything.

_The end_


End file.
